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I've been wondering about this. I guess this isn't a good place to ask but if you know a better place please tell me so.

I've heard taking sleeping pills (most common way of suicide) is painful as fuck, and not likely to be successful; since your stomach acids basically fuck up your entire body, waking you up before you die a painful death.

Is there really no realtively painless death which is likely to be successful? What about injecting a lot of anesthesia?

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Ok, so I've been seeing a therapist. I've been wondering if I should bring up being a pedo. I don't download child rape vids or think i will ever touch a child, but I'm starting to think I might be in the pre-'admit you have a problem' stage. So, I could just not realize I have a problem? I mean, if someone came up to me and was like "Dude, I'm a pedo. Should I get help?" My answer would be yes, but I don't think of it as a problem. Just the way I am. I'm also attracted to adults (admittingly, I go back on forth on which I like more. I always veer back to children, but I think the taboo of it edges it out. can't have it so I want it more?), so I figured I might be able to live my whole life without incident.

However, I have severe social anxiety and I never think people want to talk to me or find me interesting/attractive. I'm thinking maybe its because of being a pedo and I know that if people knew they would hate me -- even though I've never really done anything except what can only be termed thought crime.

Is pedophilia a treatable thing? Like, is there any treatment that will make you NOT be a pedo. I'm not talking about chemical of physical castration. Is there no cure? Is it like homosexuality? Is it possible to unlearn it? I assume its not and if thats the case I don't see the point in bringing it up if it can't be cured.

Am I wrong? Can it be cured? Should I bring it up even though it can't be? Will the helpfulness of it overcome the change in my therapist's opinion of me? I know nothing surprises them. I also know he specializes in sex therapy because of the books in bookcase (though I assume most patients, from the titles of the books, are trying to overcome being molested.)

Im very suicidal (haven't mentioned that) and I wonder if my problems might be me punishing myself for being a pedo? I dunno. Maybe its the weed talking.

]]> http://anonib.com/advice/res/255.html#281 >>278
Well yes, because 'beliefs' have no place in science. In science you just use knowledge without believing in it. You use what you think it most likely, but always remember that it might not be correct.
Obviously in actual life you still assume some things to be true simply because it's not possible to test everything yourself, and it helps us function in life more easily.

But the important thing here is realizing that once you reach a certain independence you have the ability to understand why you have certain beliefs and understanding you can stop clinging to these beliefs if you realize that many of them make no sense at all. If letting go of a belief scares you, I suppose you can just continue believing in whatever your parents taught you. But I think if you do that you will never grow up to be a matured modern human.

]]> http://anonib.com/advice/res/226.html#279 Freeze the handle of a knife into a large block of ice. Turn the heat on high so the ice will melt after you die. Get on a chair and fall backwards onto the knife. (You might not die right away) The Ice will shatter and melt from the heat on high and you will have created the illusion of being murdered.

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]]> http://anonib.com/advice/res/268.html#277 >>268
Your homosexuality is caused by not having a true personal relationship with him. There are 2 options
earn enough money and travel back to your old country and 1) spend real time with him.

2) Get revenge (not murder, just try and beat him to an inch of his life, First take advanced kicboxing) Then rape your closest sibling. Then live in Florida and change your identity.

]]> http://anonib.com/advice/res/255.html#276 >>264
I'd say a very important part of modern science is understanding that things cannot be proven 100%, and thus accepting there might be a better explanation than the one you are currently using. There will always be some unknowns influencing whatever you are looking at, or the possibility that previous researchers overlooked something or made mistakes. Scientists shouldn't use words like 'proven', 'facts' or 'believing in science/theory/...', because it also implies a blind faith, but now in the infallibility of science.

Unfortunately some people try to use this to their advantage and say things like: 'evolution is only a theory', not understanding that it's an extremely solid theory with immense amounts of evidence supporting it, which you just can't put aside as 'another' theory.

]]> http://anonib.com/advice/res/255.html#275 http://www.youtube.com/user/QualiaSoup#p/u/17/XaL7CkQaQpU

Start here and watch all videos by this user in order of upload.

]]> http://anonib.com/advice/res/255.html#274
I've read the God Delusion and the Greatest Show on Earth and both were good reads. I've heard very good things of his other books. Also, he is pretty well liked among atheists. He wouldn't be popular if he weren't. Its not like he has a market outside this one group. He is also a pretty nice guy. Though recently some deal with the forums on the richard dawkins foundation site turned a bunch of forum posters into a group of rabid dawkins haters, so maybe now that isn't as true.

Second, if you want to convert just start reading and start to think critically. The God Delusion is a great book. Its all kind pointless if you aren't open to the idea. If you keep your mind wrapped around religion, you aren't going to get converted. The fact you said "I figure it's better that I do this instead of somebody else." reeks of I want to be a martyr. Weird kind of martyrdom though.

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>>272
Human Papillomavirus, which can cause cervical cancer and warts/skin tags is a possibility. Herpes or another STD is also a possibility. Google Human Papillomavirus and view some of the images to compare, if you like. My recommendation would be to talk to your doctor and possibly ask for a referral to a dermatologist.

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so there isn't any health board or anything here so I don't know where else to put ask this since google hasn't been much help.

A few months ago around when the weather started getting cold I noticed a small patch of dry skin on the head of my penis. It hasn't gone away and now its mostly red splotch (not raised). It doesn't hurt/smell/ooze or anything..it just won't go away. I haven't had sex since around last april.

Has anyone else had this problem?

]]> http://anonib.com/advice/res/167.html#271 >>167

But... you are a creep. The issue isn't even cultural, it's psychological.

Consider their aversion to any advances a defensive mechanism and get some help.

]]> http://anonib.com/advice/res/167.html#270 >_> just go see a psychiatrist. If you want it done legally and with out any one else finding out, thats the way to go. The person will help you get over it and do it safely lol.

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i am 23, male, virgin, bicurious. i am doing this for the first time. i have kept all of this inside me for too long and i feel like i am exploding. i will for the first time, just pour it all out. i dont care anymore. im just tired of struggling. the constant battle for wages, the worries, the roller coaster of mood swings on daily basis. I am destined to fail, and I am worthless. i feel like, i am almost ready to just pull the plug. the shame and disappointment to everyone who believed in me, who have sacrificed themselves for me....im so sorry. but i just cannot continue living like this....

I will just write my life story here for the first time, and for the last time.

i didn't have a happy childhood as my parents would always fight, mom would take me to run away from my dad for the day or night. my dad had temper problem, he would get angry at slightest mistakes and was very violent with anyone. he got what he wanted by force.

one time, i heard arguing noise, and ran inside the room to stop the fight as futile it was, i did not like my dad beating my mom.

as they were fighting in the room on the bed, i watched my dad pull blanket to suffocate my mom, me desperately trying to stop him but being 6 or 7 i couldnt overpower him. as my mom passed out i was horrified. my dad freaked out and called the ambulance. by some miracle, my mother woke again and my dad canceled the ambulance, and i dont remember what happened the rest of the day.

remembering this incident, i get tearful, angry, weak. it's a permanent scar, i cannot forgive my father for.

a year later we emigrated to USA. my mom and dad continued to fight consistent basis. my dad was still violent. he beat her and i could do nothing. they would argue about everything.

my dad would always complain about everything. we would go to family picnic, only to be always ruined by my father's bouts of anger and violence.

fighting never ceased. once they fought right after my 10th birthday party. dad got violent again. i cried, and begged. i always felt guilty. sometimes they would blame that they were fighting because of me. i believe it. i felt so guilty when they fight, like i had done something wrong, and it's making them fight.

everyday, when i walk home, i would be worried about my mom being beaten. and yes, one day, my dad had a broken bone by striking my mother in the head. my nightmare come true.

naturally, i came to hate my father very much. when i turned 14, i started talking back to him. he would scold me, my mother did not approve talking back to father.

Learning english was absolute hell. My dad was very good with english, but he had rather brute methodologies...i was forced to memorize long list of vocabulary, the entire dictionary definition of the word. basically, fear was instilled to study.

pretty much anything. my dad always got what he wanted. he would blame everyone else except himself. his mistake was somebody elses. he would instill fear, he could not keep his rage to himself.

one time, my family was invited to a big dinner, at my dad's friend's friend house. this was a huge mansion. my dad forgot about us and left us outside while he went inside to enjoy himself. other people were absolutely disgusted by my father's actions. my mother was shocked too. i wasn't surprised.

today, my father supports us. he is away from USA, and back in homeland and sends us money. sometimes, my mother has to remind and nag him if he is slow on the payments. my father purchased this laptop for me. my dad purchased my first game console. these things have made me very very happy.

my father loves his family, extremely protective but he still cannot control his rage, and it would get out of hand. the violent fighting only stopped because he is now in a different continent. when he visits, there is always fighting between my parents but these days, there is no more violence. maybe he will destroy, wreck things in anger but no more level of violence as I witnessed when I was younger.

up to around 6, i also had Oedipus personality. I would have sexual fantasies of my mother and was attracted to her. when she wore pantyhose, it would excite me. i am deeply troubled by this experience and feel guilty. I dont feel like human at all, some freak... I realized by 7, this was wrong. I continued to feel guilty about this.

my mother would cry often due to unhappy marriage. i hate seeing her cry and suffer. if i could alleviate her pain, i could do even the most horrid things. she would also cry because of my poor behavior in school. she would cry with rage during fights. i wanted to grow fast and strong, so I could protect her. but she is also strong, kept the family together and is everything to me. i feel the same about my sibling.

to this day, my wish has been to be able to give expensive presents, and make life comfortable using money. this has been a goal ever since I was little. i failed and will probably fail. im just not destined to strike rich or land a good job. this is perhaps my biggest guilt and fear...not being able to protect and please my mother and sibling with financial success. i made a promise to her long time ago to become rich and support her....before I kill myself, i would like to leave large amount of money for her.

i feel guilty when i lust after other women, because i feel like i have betrayed my mother, and promise to my mother. I feel guilty thinking about having to buy a girlfriend/boyfriend gifts when I have never given more gifts to my family. of course, this wont matter as no women will love a loser and a total monster like me.

sometimes when I picture having sex with a women, images of my mother or siblings pop up, even though i do not wish to see it. I wremember women's faces or if it looks a bit like a relative, i completely avoant to be able to release myself by fantasizing about my high school teacher, and suddenly her face starts resembling my mother and I get freaked out and lose my erection. I feel guilty, and try to picture ugly women. I cannot remember faces well for long. i think this explains my preference for women from a different continent which least resembles anything like my mother. just having black hair, reminds me of my mother.

i love girls but i hate them too. they are cunning, sly, and deceptive. they are also beautiful, thoughtful, and sexually attractive. i cannot find a way to seduce them. i want to have sex with girls but also with guys.

when i very very young, i felt at times like a girl because people would admire i was pretty. I would act out female sexual acts from movies, tv shows, like tying myself up with skipping ropes, being molested by men, spanking. While playing with a friend and in the playground, i would lie on the bench and ask him to molest me by playing a game of "operations". he foolishly did and realized he didn't like it. I felt guilty after. I liked to be in the nude in public, and did couple of times. all of this happened before 8, and the guilt has been with me ever since.

long before high school, i would develop crushes on guys and girls. i would get that butterfly feeling about good looking boy or girl. The feeling was more intense for boys then girls but i always lusted after girls.

in high school, my crush on both sexes continued.

i have never done anything to chase after love relationships or sex. i like being deprived of such relationships that my friends often enjoy quite easily and often. it's a strange rush, to constantly deprive and discipline yourself. its almost liberating to punish and sabatog myself while everyone around you is getting more successful and happier. it makes me feel special.....lol

im too tired right now....i have cried a bit writing this. whats the point of writing the rest of the story.....i just want to forget, just sleep, just forget. i thought 4 years ago, when i was deeply depressed, it would be my last, but
cowards like me will always be cowards.

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