Become a pro swimmer. Then chop your legs off so that you have to live in a wheelchair, wishing you had your legs back so you could swim again.

find a girl on craigslist (or fetlife and similar sites) who will humiliate and rape you

do as I did, put your basic necessities in a medium sized plastic bin and sell or throw away a lot of shit that might distract you from not becoming depressed then just sleep a lot. really fuck up your sleep schedule, say, going to bed at 8 am and waking up at 5 pm, if people wake you up it is going to make you more irritable. very soon you will start hating everyone and everything, you'll be craving much more sleep and you will never be satiated because you will never be completely rested. your body will get used to your new routine. use this to your advantage, take a look out of your window in the morning when everyone is about to leave for work or school, it will make you feel pathetic, read tons of suicide and anxiety forums and realize that your life is shit, that everyone is so competitive, that at your age a lot of people have accomplished much more than you will ever accomplish lulz, hope these ideas help

listen to antony and the johnsons

I can make you more depressed! You're obviously a fag and will become the victim of a hate crime. Not only that but you will die before having had action with boy pussy or otherwise. Really this thread needs better trolls than me because you're LITERALLY asking for it.

In all honesty? I'm a socialist, and the more I read about capitalism the more depressed I get, so you may want to get into progressive politics.

The next generation (and those following) will have no choice BUT to view socialism as a partial answer, or implode. There are reasons that would take too long to explain here, but in a nutshell, technology has made it possible for a wealth gap unimaginable at any time prior in human history, and ironically, the ones at the top are the ones contributing the least. In short, humans can leverage technology to do a great deal more than ever before, and without the need for humans. So, those controlling it win, and those on the bottom lose in every way imaginable. Capitalism only works when a)the system's integrity is kept intact and individuals are kept from gaming it, and b)productivity is directly linked to individual human contribution/accomplishment, thereby ensuring that someone's income is proportional to their individual output. Neither of those holds true anymore. So, a revolution (probably violent, given humanity's unimaginable propensity for selfishness and greed) is inevitable.

>>317
war circumvents socialism

>>309

Indeed, once you delve into the red (lolz I joke), a new wave a depression will hit you.

A few more ways to become depressed are: obsess over music and writing, attempt to become a political activist, take part in the consumer lifestyle, fuck your sleep schedule, become addicted to amphetamine, become an alcoholic, and begin having extremely violent fits of rage.

Most effective way: stab your jugular, and as you bleed out call everyone you ever knew and tell them what you did.

Done.

OP here if anybody at all in this world cares. Im rather surprised this is still here after so long and im glad it is, i checked to see if this was here every few weeks now and then and it always has been and it still is to my surprise. Few things have changed in my life the only real changes being my anxiety isn't as bad anymore and i stopped taking my anti depressants by choice of course the doctor wants me on them still. Other than that everything else here still seems to be relevant to life though i was better for a few months things got worse again 2 months ago. I cut myself again for the first time in months because i had some serious nostalgia about life tonight.

>>269

OK seriously, your a fucking idiot retard (trying to make you more depressed)

Ways to become more depressed:

1.)Stop taking anti-depressants (duh, idiot!)

2.)Stop brushing your teeth so you will get tons of cavities (make sure to eat a lot of sweets, idiot!)

3.)Whenever you eat or go poo or pee, be intentionally very sloppy and messy and never clean up after yourself ( although your dumb-ass probably does that already, idiot!)

4.) Download child porn and intentionally get caught so the news can humiliate you (and probably everyone will not like you... if anyone really likes your dumb ass now).

5.) Be mean and rude to everyone, especially those who are nice to you (like those few real "friends" you claim you have)

6.) Break your video games and TV (don't throw them out though, so you can have a reminder of what your dumbass did).

7.) Any money you have spend it(on things you don't like) and get maxed out on several credit cards so you have huge debts with no hope of paying them off.

8.) Drop out of school

9.) Become obese so you need help going to the bathroom and pretty much everything else.

10.)Make several cuts all over your body and hope that they get infected. Make sure to cut your penis so when you try to jack off it will hurt bad.

11.)Don't shower or bathe so you will stink and people will want to be around you even less (Don't wash your clothes either).

12.) Wear clothes that you don't like and are uncomfortable (this will become easier as you start becoming obese).

13.)Stop getting attention by posting nonsensical posts on the internet.

14.) Don't defend yourself when you are insulted (idiot!)

>>357 continued

Ways to become more depressed

15.)Clog up all the plumbing in your (parents) home so it is impossible to use running water at home without making a huge mess (this will add to the mess from #3) so all your water drains will always be full of moldy, foul, rank water.

16.)Stop going to any doctor or dentist to treat current or future health problems (this was implied earlier but since your an idiot I have to mention it).

17.)Break all the electricity in your (parents) home so you will have no heat/air conditioning, lights, or use of any electronic devices (throw out all batteries).

18.) You're an idiot. Make sure you really understand that.

19.) Don't express to others how depressed you are.

20.) Don't express yourself at all.

21.) "Attempt" suicide.(your so dumb you are not even capable of killing your own self).

22.) Go to the YMCA or even better some ghetto park and try to play pick up basketball (no one will pick you loser!)

23.) Read a book on particle physics (you can't understand it cause you're too dumb!)

24.) Read a picture book (you can't understand it cause you're too dumb!)

25.) Eat(fat ass).

26.) Sleep (lazy ass).

27.) Defecate (you can't understand it cause you're too dumb!)

28.)Desire things (greedy ass).

29.) Be alive.

30.) Eat applesauce with spinach.

31.) Go hit in ford lock tire.

32.) Bor one frm too bottle neck speed.

3333333333

>>357
You're a sharp bugger with that stuff. esp 6,19,20. Dark and very true points. I highly doubt OP is sincere enough to take them on board.

>357
Long winded but funny.
>269
Swallow about 40 Tylenol. Within a half hour you will be un-savable, but it will take you a few days to die so you can tell everyone they suck on your way out. And, (epic win) you can be more depressed as you die.

>>423
No, it's better to just do steps 1-22 listed on >>357
and >>358

If OP wants to become more depressed, it is better to live a long life. Becoming old and having to deal with the problems created from steps 1-22 will be extremely depressing.

>432
Okay okay, pick nits....