my lair

>>2588
i will never eat another MRE as long as i live. those things are poison and digest horribly. canned catfood might seriously be more healthy.

i'm sorry you live in the garage, though. makes me feel bad : (

>>2602
Got shitloads of em during Ike's hurricane here in TX, I'll tell you, when you are hungry and you are afraid to go to the kitchen when everyone is around you'll pretty much eat anything edible. Some of them taste surprisingly good considering the amount of time they last.
I've spent to years in the garage and I actually like it, while it requires more organization and throwing a lot of stuff away (my mother is like a hoarder and my father recently abandoned us) so I have a great opportunity to make this place look decent, I can also destroy, cut, or hammer stuff very early in the morning without complaints.

>>2602
>>2606
Sorry, but what's MRE?

>>2611
I had to look it up as well: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MRE

I love this show

http://tvgorge.com/shows/its-always-sunny-in-philadelphia

Chiho Aoshima

This comic always made me laugh.

Does anyone of you speak japanese? I recently found this: http://z0r.de/1654
It sounds funny and I´d like to know what it´s about.

>>2608
I don't know much about japanese, so sorry if I don't help at all - It seems that they're mostly just saying many city names, I don't think there's too much beyond it... Maybe there's a video behind it, dunno.
Anyway, this looks like a great exercise for those who are training their japanese listening.

>>2595

When I saw this version of the board, I didn't think many people were 'hikikomori' at all.

Looking at the threads, they seem aimed at depressed people, people who can't stop cutting themselves, people who can't get out of bed, people who don't want to be alive but can't kill themselves...if there was more anime stuff being posted, it would probably be more entertaining to me, and less "dark philosophy of the night (which is dark) (like my soul)"

>>2598
I think that has always been the case, simply because there is not much to say about being reclusive by itself. So most conversation is about side matters, and often by people going in or out of their reclusive lifestyle.

>>2599

You're probably right...

"What did you do today, thread?"

"...not much."

"Ah."

Surely there is some way to spice the board up, so that it isn't so divided between long-winded heavy-threads, and few-reply-"chillout"-threads

>>2600

But having said that, there *aren't* a ton of people on at once, and it is known as a slow board

Hello snurse...

>>2462

I doubt sunlight would make the OP wake up. I could sleep all day outside if I was bored enough.

IDK maybe drink lots of energy drinks? Or sleep. Personally, I would sleep. Sleep = love.

Energy drinks are great for keeping yourself up!

To the OP, if you are staying in bed for overly extended periods of time, so much so that you yourself don't even want to actually continue to be in bed, then why not stock up on a variety of energy drinks, and just work through them over time. I'm not saying you should just cram them all down in a day and never sleep again, but when you wake up, it can become a part of a routine to work on a can, or something. Coffee is nice, too. Cup after cup of delicious coffee, alllll day long!

The ice cold drinks available can be your reason to drag yourself out of bed, and if you nurse them long enough, one can can last all day pretty much, until it's late, and you finish it, then go to bed. You wake up, you don't want to stay in bed forever, so you get up, crack open a can, go on the computer...

Some drinks taste like utter garbage, but there are some surprisingly delicious ones out there. Ones that are wholly new flavors you can never have come across before.

I make it a point to sample new ones, and even when I am doing almost nothing for days or weeks, energy drinks are an entertaining vice to pass the time. All those chemicals pounding through your veins are fun.

>>2571
I don't really like the effect caffeine has on me, it makes me feel awake but also not very focused. Also, it seems most energy drinks are very expensive. And I would have to carry all of it here from the store, which means having to go there more often. I usually just drink water, it's by far the cheapest and healthy too. Energy drinks contain lots of sugar too and I already have a cavity (I should probably go to a dentist for that).

>>2574

Tea might be a good alternative to energy drinks. Tea has very little caffeine compared to marketed drinks and even coffee, and can lift you up.

I like black tea with some milk and sugar. :D

>>2584

Not OP here; this is a good idea

You'll have to be up to make the tea, which will be using more energy than sleeping; the hot drink will be at least putting something into your body (sleeping might as well be starving, which will depress your baseline mood anyways), and you'll find yourself readily doing something at least mildly entertaining or useful, since you will be awake and out of bed... Nice!

That's fine, but I doubt anybody here can speak Japanese fluently enough to browse there.

And if you've ever posted on a Japanese board, you'll know they HATE foreigners with a passion.

This board we have would probably be a lot more active if it wasn't on anonib. This site used to be big, but now it's kind of a cheap porn dump, and 90% of the boards are dead. It doesn't get much traffic and sadly the hiki board is buried in this mess. Gives me a good idea, actually.

>>2531 Dunno i kinda like how it's "hard to find". But you are right about the porn, i kinda stopped posting regularly because linkbucks REALLY PISSES ME OFF. Anonib has become a cheap whore with all itss ads and NSFW core audience, but amidst that there is one cool slow boring genuine hikki section that i'm thankful for:p

>>2533
firefox + noscript + adblock plus

>>2521

Just something to consider...

Someone on /hikki/ translated some of these topics at another person's request. Now, it was a single sample, so I wouldn't say we should draw definitive conclusions, but about 50% of threads were about trying to come with new ways for guys to masturbate (one was like, "Making the Perfect Artificial Vagina: Part 12").

I remember the person asking about this was a little disappointed it wasn't the intellectual discussions they had believe…

Maybe I'm biased, but I think we have a much better signal-to-noise ratio here.

>>2585

Yes. I can read, write and speak Japanese and the majority of the topics there are by some really eccentric people. A lot of Japanese people are "proud" of the fact that they're hikikomori, and they find no shame in the fact that they'll fuck pieces of beef to satisfy their needs. This doesn't speak for all of them, but 2ch is the 4chan of Japan, so much of it is only semi-serious.

>>2561
you can live according to the idea of hiki but how can you live like youtube and google ?

>>2569

I have no idea; I even tried deleting the post because it made so little sense.

But yes, I doubt we are all recluses who want to belong somewhere. I post here for fun and out of boredom, not to get tips on being reclusive, so as to become more reclusive, and fit in with more reclusive people than myself.

I've been shut-up for long enough, I couldn't see myself "vibe-ing" off of other reclusive people, in a manner that altered my behavior or somesuch.

>>2570

ps. I'm not trying to be a jerk, I'm interested in what people think about this, too :)

I guess I write things that come across a bit hostile, sometimes!

Carry the day, dear thread

I'm the exact opposite. I'm somewhere, but I want to be a recluse. I've been to the outside world, and quite frankly, my own world that I made for myself when I was a hiki was better.

I wouldn't say I'm attempting to conform to the definition of a hikikomori. In fact, it really only applies to Japanese people due to the very distinct cultural aspects that cause it. Nonetheless, like any Japanese hikikomori, a western can too, suffer from social phobia, depression, schizophrenia or whatever is the primary catalyst for why we end up this way.

I've always been a shut in, and have been for a good solid 6 years as I've had zero friends or normal social interactions. My life has become comparable to that of your stereotypical hiki you'd see in a cheap anime. I could call myself a recluse, hermit or hiki, it all means the same thing to me.

I wonder how many of us are covert extroverts. It wouldn't surprise me that all of us were introverts just because we are afraid/avoid people or social interactions due to some trauma.

>>2467
I think extrovert in this test has a slightly different meaning from the normal word. I've always thought first and acted second, but I know that before I became hikki I was much more open and willing to be in the spotlight then I am now. But as I got older it would just get me criticized and ridiculed, so I changed into a person who didn't act or speak up. I think that this definitely contributed to me isolating myself.

http://intjforum.com/
^You're not alone

Used to be INTJ, now INTP.

I did this just recently. Result as an INTP.
Introverted 100%; Intuitive 50%; Thinking 12%; Perceiving 33%

Don't really understand it or its significance (or perhaps lack of), I'll read up that background stuff in the morning. Bloody vague questions though!

I came out as INFJ.

It was weird because reading the description of INFJ, it mirrored myself extremely well, but trying to read any of the other result pages was difficult, because they seemed like completely alien ideas of how someone could perceive and interact with things.

I guess that means it is accurate!

>>2545
I know, it wont help you much... but I truly wish you good luck for taking this steps. Geez, I´ve to make the same thing in the near future. Just thinking about this right now gives me an odd feeling in my stomach. Please keep us up to date, or at least I want to know.

>>2545
A few days ago I had to go somewhere I really didn't want to go. My body started feeling weird, but the strange thing is that if I hadn't been feeling so anxious the feeling would probably have been enjoyable. I've felt that feeling before, when I know something is coming up I can't avoid without severe consequences. It's like excitement and fear, body nearly shivering, knowing my life is heading to a confrontation I have to try to survive.

Anyone know what I'm talking about?

I woke up early.

>>2550
me too bro. trying to reset my body clock in preperation for some early starts.

Hmm... me too. All last week I've been trying to wake up at 8am instead of the usual 11-12. That's a little odd. Who's copying who?!

It seems that at some point I got into a downward spiral. I can't escape, only try to go up in it with a lot of effort...

I grew up in a neighborhood without other kids, sheltered and alone. That made me dislike crowds, be able to tolerate loneliness and unable to deal with criticism/ mean people. At some point that resulted in me skipping school and it got progressively worse until the point that I was a real hikki. The lack of social contact during that time has left me damaged. Socializing just seems so difficult now and even though I have no trouble understanding how it works, I'm unable to do it naturally without giving it much thought.

Right now I'm doing alright, I'm not a hikki anymore (still reclusive though). But it still feels like I am a hikki, that it's my default mode and that as soon as I stop putting in the effort I'll slide right back into my old habits. It still happens from time to time, fortunately usually not lasting more then a week or two.

>>2395
i've recently read that things are too comfortable nowadays, and so many distractions are eliminated that our brain isn't used to muting them out or dealing with them.

i wish you the best.

I didn't have any friends growing up, and my family lived in a remote part of town in the boonies - not much opportunity for socialization in the first place. I kept to myself and was often asked in grade school, "do you ever talk?" and "why don't you ever smile?". Throughout high school I continued being a loner, social anxiety flared up and left me sitting alone eating lunch under the stairwell and in the library.

Nowadays I live on my own in a big city and only leave to get groceries or for a night walk. I moved here just for the convenience of not having to drive to get anything - and the fact that my parents would have charged me the same amount of rent I'm paying here to live in the middle of nowhere. So yeah, it's hard to escape what's been the case since childhood.

Truly - and I'm not being an egotist - I believe I've just been smarter than those who I grew up around. To elaborate, I was born to a working class family in Toronto, and grew up in a lower income neighbourhood. Everybody in life I ever knew - friends, teachers - were of a different mindset than me. I've always been the quiet, introverted intellect from a poor background that sort of got along with everyone, but couldn't exactly relate. I had an IQ of 126 when I was 13 and that was around the time (beginning of high school) that I became really distant towards those around me. Eventually I simply ended up so far apart from the usual social norms of people my age (13 to 16, or so) and, almost like an autistic child, spent my time entranced with my own interests. Then, just over time, my past friends stopped talking to me and I just stopped talking to everyone. Since then, I've spent the past few years nearly all alone. I find it hard to readjust now that I'm older as my social interactions stopped around my mid teens. As such, it's almost like I've got the social skills as a 16 year old, rather than a 23 year old. Every bit of social interaction now makes me anxious, however superficial. Paying for an item at a store, asking simple inquiries, riding the subway, even the telephone are all examples of things that still cause me to become over contemplative of the situations. It's not even anxiety at this point, just routine and inexperience. I'm trying to get better but it's a slow and daunting process.

I don't like people I can't turn off.

I don't like trying to be nice, laughing at that joke, smiling at that nod, listening to that story, answering that question. But I don't have the ovaries to be mean.

I like to do what I want without the judgement or interruption. SO glad I live alone for this now. Finally.

I don't go out and do things with people because I know i'm not exciting, I know i'm boring out of my element. And, so are they.

I was a fairly social kid, though. Back when playing monsters or doctor n' such was still fun. But my family overly-sheltered me and my siblings. Because of that I learned too well to be satisfied with stimuli from only myself or very few others.

It's made me very shy, but get past that - not too hard - and i'm told i'm really quite interesting and funny and worth knowing. The problem? Those around me, aren't.

>>2413
That's interesting. I'm asexual (averse to any sex in a relationship) and mostly aromantic (not completely averse to cuddling, but good in small doses) but I still can be attracted to a person.

As for this thread, I loosely identify with being female, but I was a loner tomboy growing up and the activities I engage in (video games and nerdy hobbies) wouldn't be considered very feminine, to be sure. I don't really have anything in common with almost anyone of my gender, it seems. I find talking to girls way more awkward than talking to boys, because our interests differ so wildly.

>>2409
More or less exactly this, except with genders switched.

In terms of emotional stability I would be a 14 year-old girl. I take everything to heart but forgive everyone for everything they've ever done. I often curl up on my bed, rocking back and forth. I'm the only 20 year-old guy you'll probably ever meet who can be friends with a cute girl without wanting to date/fuck them. I'm not gay, exactly, but bi. I am equally attracted to either sex. Sometimes my highly evolved intellect butts in and makes me able to deal with the pain by being cold and rational. Otherwise, however, I'm just a damn sponge and every external impression is soaked right up.

I hate identifying with one gender. I'm genetically a male but I really get upset at how much you are forced to conform to your gender stereotypes. I like a lot of things that would be considered masculine and a lot of things feminine, and I like some women's clothes and some men's clothes (and women's clothes fit me better because I have a weird build).

I feel sometimes like I have an extra bias for the feminine things that I like, because I've always been told I can't do them because I'm a male. I really hate all the necessary acting you have to do just because people are so small-minded.

I am mostly attracted to women but that's partially because I'm sort of afraid of men and how they treat me (if anyone knows how to opt out of the perpetual "proving your manhood" bullshit that someone apparently signed me up for at birth, I'm listening!)

But I don't fit in with people in general, regardless of gender.

Well i'm female but if I had to pick which gender I prefer to identify myself with, i'd say male.
Not a tomboy or anything, I just feel like a dude. More comfortable talking with men than women, being viewed under the male appearance in society than the female one, etc.

But I think I am gender neutral. I say I like to identify with the male gender, but it's a male with feminine aspects so... neutral.

I'm female, and I identify as a heterosexual female. In the past few months, however, I've made a close friend who doesn't identify their gender. I've never asked, but occasionally I get curious.

It's been an interesting experience, because I find I care for them, and I've been wondering what it would mean if they were female. I'm starting to think I don't care about gender or age (I'm pretty sure they're older). I don't know if means I'm just desperately lonely, or turning into a better person.

I would go see the shrink if there is a slightest chance that she will agree to be my gf. I myself am the best shrink I every need.

I've always kind of enjoyed the strange feeling that [Be alone] > [Watch Fictional Love Stories] > [Expectations Went Higher] > [Get Disappointed] makes in me.

I'm fine with fantasy. It may be a bit depressing, but it doesn't cost anything, and generates fuzzy feelings! Plus you get to watch a bunch of cool comedy/romance shows.

As a person I am reclusive because of a marked inability to get along with anyone else, so it's not like I would probably be able to take dealing with trying to "get with" some mostly-random girl anyways.

Sex is probably only so desirable because our new fast-paced-banging society has deemed it odd that I'm still a virgin, but the thought of plowing some sweaty chick I barely know is kind of nasty. I'd only want to do it with some girl who I know really well, and there aren't any of those, so who cares!

I don't like talking in person, because it's just annoying, and the conversation will probably be very exhausting to me, so I'm fine filling up with this sort of impersonal online conversing. I can see what someone says, maybe think up a response, maybe not, and that's that.

Shrinks are fine if you truly want to change a specific part of yourself, like being too shy to get a girlfriend, or compulsively masturbating to photos of dogs...

For me, though, I love being the way I am. I'm not sad to see nobody else; it usually only makes me angry when other people physically approach me :D

>>2524
no thnx

>>2539

i am made happy that my room is more "no thnx" than that!

>>2536
"Hmm... I'll agree."
"Circle gets the square, good night everybody!"

>>2438

Um, what? I think you misunderstood.

>>2435

Didn't the guy who wrote the book eventually admit that he made up figures, like regarding the amount of hikikomori that existed at the time, or something?

He exaggerated to give it some extra "wow" power.

I've never read it myself, but it does seem like it would be interesting in any event.

Does anyone know any additional books on hikikomori?

>>2494

Yeah. He estimated well over 1 million, which is an absurd number.

>>2517
OP here, I bought the book, going to start reading it later this week. That 1 million number is something a psychologist who as one of the first to described hikikomori came up with once when he decided to estimate the number of hikikomori (he met in his clinic) compared to number of schizophrenics in his clinic, and from that ratio and the already known number of schizophrenics in Japan he estimated that there were 1 million hikki in Japan. Even though most realistic estimates have been made, the 1 million stuck.

>>2520

Ah yeah, Tatsuo or whomever. He actually admitted later that the figure was made up and not to take it at all seriously. He originally conceived it for an old BBC documentary on hikis back in 2001 or so. I'd doubt there are even 10'000 hikikomori in all of Pacific Asia, nevermind Japan.

Still a good book though.

in my room LOL!

I toddle around on youtube, and fiddle with my channel. I dawdle, and twiddle my diddle, which is widdle. This is the only forum type thing I check, though.

Sometimes I'm not even sure where the hours go

Like above, I don't know where the hours go. I used to do the 4chan thing, or rather the internet thing, but grew tired of it. I've been a recluse for a good 7 years now so I don't spend much time online anymore, except for here. I mostly read, listen to music, act productive etc etc.

I´m they guy who wrote the first reply. I want to add that I don´t know much about cuting itself. From my perspective and logic it´s just a terrible thing, no matter how worse I feel, I don´t want to do that to myself. Moral and feelings change to quick for me, there are still moments where I´m happy to live, even when they´re short.

At the end, the only way is to talk to her anyways.

I myself always tend to make situations more worse and complicated in my mind then they practically are. When my logic kicks in then I´m aware that no matter how many times I set up a conversation in my mind, with myself... the things I want to say and the possible repsonses that the person would give me... unfortunately that´s not the way it works. Nobody can fully predict the awareness of others.

I think what helped me stop cutting was the thought of scars, ones I which now live with.

At the time, I would severely cut myself. I'd aim for veins and cut as deep and criss crossed as possible. I just wanted to see blood, it helped. At the time it was a brilliant idea, but then as more people found out it occurred to me that scars have a stigma attached to them. I chose not to live the rest of my life with them and after a good two years of self harm, I stopped. I still live with scars today - cuts, burns, pokes - which I sadly must cover up to function in society. Any time people see my arms they just give me glares...

Sorry, no real advice, OP. I don't really know what to say. It's true, cutting is a coping method. If you can substitute it for something else, you can stop. Or somehow convince yourself you need to. I believe the only thing you can do as a friend is give her your axiom. I think if you were to confront her about it, it would improve the situation greatly. Perhaps she might be hurt at first, it's only natural. Cutting is taboo and shameful for most people, when others find out it scares them. But soon enough she knows you're willing to help, the easier it becomes for her. Self harm is like a drug addiction. You (or they) must, must, must be analytical and find the catalyst that makes the person do what they do. There is always a source issue at hand. However, the problem with cutting, the longer it goes on the more the person becomes addicted to it, both physically and psychologically. The longer you go without touching upon the source problems, the worse it gets, and it can have unwanted, permanent, effects.

The best option is to talk in person. But this seems pretty much troublesome. But that's the way I'd deal with things. Whatever it takes.

OP here. Thank you all for being here and offering your help.

I'm sorry I've been away for a while. I've had some family crap over the past few days.

So far, I've managed not to whip out my kit and start digging into my skin during this shit. I haven't told S. about this, I don't know I can. But I have this magical belief that somehow, if I don't do this, she won't either. So much for trying to be rational and scientific.

Anyway, to back up for a sec...

After my last post here, we exchanged a lot of DMs (direct messages). She wanted to know some specifics about how I cut myself so she could try them. This upset me very much; it felt like the worst possible result, like I was being some kind of horrible role model or something.

My stomach is cramping up just remembering this. I kept worrying I was going to say or do something to make her worse. And reading that message, I realized I had done just that.

At the same time, I had to have some kind of answer. I told her I was trying to stop (which I am) and asked if she had tried any alternatives to cutting (squeezing ice cubes, using those big ass mailing rubber bands, etc.).

I knew even as I asked that I was fucking up.

Message too long. Click here to view the full text.

hi, I don't know how this will benefit anyone, but I used to hurt myself for a long time, and managed to stop.

my wounds were pretty minor in comparison to many people's i imagine but one day I had a giant freakout over something, and I decided to give it some real effort, and...ugh.

the sound of my leg unzipping is what made me stop. it haunts me, that sound. it was truly disgusting, like nails on a skin chalkboard. that terrible sound, and the memory of the greyish blue meat inside me tripped a switch or somethin, and i have never done it since. it was a long, awkward night at the hospital.

i can't really give any more detailed an explanation, which makes me feel like this is pointless to write, but there you have it...

i only stopped afte i took it too far and thankfully broke the spell that cutting was a good activity for me to engage in. i hope that more people can break the spell sooner rather than later.

i understand completely that to a cutter, it can feel like it helps but its just...not good. it IS within any person the power to simply stop, take a deep, week, month, or year long breath, and accept that you can change your desires, and never return to it. never looking back is bull. my mind looks back to it every time i see the scars. but it is in my past forever now.

i believe beyond a shadow of a doubt that i will never do it again.

good luck, everyone, i seriously wish you all the best

Message too long. Click here to view the full text.

I don't use Last.fm, but lately I've been listening to Electric Wizard a lot. It fits my mood I guess, because I can see how at another moment in my life I would not listen to it at all.

Well I don't really care for last.fm, mainly because I don't usually like the "similar music."

Anyways, http://www.last.fm/user/redarmycomrade here's mine. I made it while on xbox, lol.

>>2487
>is any of you anons on tumblr.com ?

No idea why this is being asked, but yes, I am. I have a weird hobby and it requires thousands upon thousands of photo posts, and the tumblr site seems to be the best venue to support it.

>>2489
when asking that I was expecting you give me your coordinates to your page!

>>2487

Yeah, I am and a couple of other people. Search for hikikomori, it should turn up some people.

I haven't posted much lately. It might sound weird, given who I am and where I'm posting this, but somehow blogs seem lonely to me. I don't get comments though, so maybe that's part of it.

>>2492
id rather prefer you give me your usernames , if your willing to we could talk through this particular blog

>>2499
>>2489 here.
My blog isn't related to hikikomori at all; I just have amassed a pointlessly large collection of business cards over the years which I'm archiving on that site... not really worth linking to, and comments are disabled...

The past will always attack the present with the pain of your memories.

-

Even the happy things and the fun things,nothing remains forever.

I am 21 now, I will be 11 when past self receives this message.

List of all important dates and events (pseudo-prophecy).

List of girls to date/not date.

List of good friends to gather sooner and bad friends to drop sooner.

Stop being Christian sooner, stop best friend from becoming Christian. (Happened around same time).

Soulmate moves away at specific date for specific reason. Huge list of ways to prevent. Lots of graphs and diagrams. Number 1 priority.

Huge leaked password lists.

Financial investment information. When to buy and sell, maybe lottery numbers, sports information (for gambling).

Message too long. Click here to view the full text.

>>2418
Are you a hikki? Nothing in your post would suggest that you are anything other then a normal person. Not trying to attack your or anything, but I am curious how someone like you ended up a hikki.

>>2419
I've been hikki for 4 years, bro. I'd like to prevent my past self from becoming hikki, and I definitely think the shotgun approach is the way to go.

Hey, 12-year-old me:

When the awesome night comes, don't drink too much. You will be too busy puking and getting the spins to get laid.

You tard, she was visiting your college for only the one night, and she was smoking hot, too!

>>2444
>And as i don't see the point in getting a job just to survive, once i will have usen up my money, i will become an hero.

Man, how many times have I heard this one before? It seems to be every entry-level hikki's mantra.

>>2444
I'm the same as far as I am dependent on my parents, but I try to feel at least a bit thankful for it. It's not like my parents don't face the exact same world I do.

I don't think I could ever kill myself. Even when I'm all alone, there are still things I find pleasure in. Plus I bet my instincts would prevent me from doing so anyway.

>>2445
Well, street or death.
I guess dying is way more comfortable than leading a life as a beggar.

Once i (have to)leave the comfortzone i will be able to do so.

I may have missed it, how old are you? You sound like you are suffering from depression.

The problem with hikikomori is that you have no support group. You need some friends, real people who care about you. Dont talk to your parents, they cant handle it.

When I was about 20, I felt the same way, I hated my job. I was on my own and needed money to pay rent and such. But I couldn't stand where I was working. So I quit, no idea what to do for money, had 30 days to figure the shit out or I was in big trouble. I started selling drugs (BAD idea), but it paid the bills. Then I opened my own online business. By spending all my time being occupied with something that I enjoyed, I didn't have time to be depressed. I started smoking a little weed to help, dont over do it though it can make things worse. You need to see that where you are is not the whole world.

SHAKE SHIT UP DUDE. Stop being depressed, make moves, quit your job if you want, make yourself happy. You need to learn to control yourself, go out and get what you want. START BEING A FUCKING BADASS. Its not as hard as it sounds, just start doing what you makes you happy. This job is going to kill you if you dont kill it first. You can win this battle, just take a step back and RE-STRATEGIZE.

And stop taking peoples crap, you are better then that. Stand up for yourself, it might be scary at first, but once youve done it you will feel like you can do anything.

>>2474
I'm 21 and I think that I'm suffering from depression, but I don't know. Actually I don't want to think that, cause my life was always pretty good and it would be arrogant to say that I'm suffering from depression. Sometimes I think that I am just lazy and searching for an excuse to stop living the shitty troublesome life of an average person. On the other hand I tell myself that it can't be normal to force myself to not cry on the train heading to work. All this shit is rather confusing and I wish I could be a badass but the world is just frightening. I just hope for the moment I totally snap and get a serious psychologic issue. I actually think that this whole thing isn't my fault at all. It's them! The world is a fucked up place and all it does to you is crushing every dream and hope. It will kill all what is inside of you and all that remains is a puppet which will work for that fucked up system.
Sorry I'm pretty drunk right now

You can change styles in the top right corner of the screen. Old style is Burichan I think.

>>2422

Thank you! This grey has been killing my eyes.

I guess I like someone.
There's a girl I know "IRL" who I talk to sometimes over deviantart.
But her happy life isn't something I have the selfishness to interfere with.
I know she *used* to like me, though I'm not even sure if she cares anymore.

"People that NEVER go outside at all for years at a time probably don't exist much outside of Japan."




havn't gone outside in 5 months.. only leave my room when everyone is asleep to take a shower and get food left out by my mum from the fridge.. im from the UK.. Despite this, i have had 1 gf.. during the time i was a hiki aswell.. i went to visit her in london once.. thts the only time i ever actually saw her.. we had an online relationship for 2 years..

>>2390
5 months =/= years at a time

Anyway, where did you meet her? I hardly ever seem to come into contact with girls online. Was she reclusive too and what eventually caused you to stop your relationship?

I hate Valentines Day.

Time passes swiftly like the same day as always.

This holiday never meant anything to me.

>>2394
Hardly any holidays mean anything to me anymore. It's all used for selling as much crap as possible. And often you can't really avoid it either. Like mothers day; made popular to sell stuff, yet, if I don't get my mother something she'll still be disappointed.